If you don't feel like reading the story, but are curious to hear the song, please scroll WAY down to the end of this entry, and there will be a link for you.

The Who & Why & What

Some very dear friends were going to move away.  This wasn't the kind of move where the prospect of never seeing them for the rest of my life was a possibility (although in the midst of a pandemic now, who knows), but this move was far enough away that visits would be few and far between.  So, as one does, I was considering a gift.  Here's the problem... gift giving is hard for me, more so in a situation where distance is involved.  Food/drink gifts, while delicious, don't last very long.  I don't have the wherewithal to come up with practical household gifts, and besides, they were already settled in a home, they were just going to a different home and ostensibly bringing their stuff with them.  Not being able to turn my brain off at night is a nearly quotidian issue for me, and many nights the question of what kind of gift to give was the source of my insomnia.  What could I - a generally useless and insignificant being - possibly give someone without it being hackneyed or trite?  Hey, I write songs.  How about a bespoke song?  That's unique and that's sincere, which means the proper sentiment gets across no matter how awful it ends up being.  Ok, problem solved, now to work...

The Where

I knew the destination of the move.  That being the case, I did more reading about the location than I'd like to admit, looking for extra details that I might be able to shoehorn into a song.  Relevant lyrics from the song:

Say hello to the Badlands
Prairie dogs and Minuteman
Needles in the Black Hills
Porcupines with their quills

Say hello to the Big Bird

I'm not going to spell the place out to you, I'm going to depend on your profound knowledge of geography and history - or conversely, your Google skills - to tell you The Where.

The How

Brainstorming sessions. Writing text.  Editing text into lyrics.  

Deciding on a mood.  Well, it's somewhat melancholy, but hey, they're not dying - at least not any faster than the rest of us are - and we very well might cross paths again.  Ok then, minor key for the verse, then have a pre-chorus that modulates from minor to major, then major key in the chorus in order to give that optimistic and hopeful feeling.  Settled.  Pick the chords.  No, not that one.  Yes, that one.  Ok.  Chords.... find a melody.  Agonize over the piano at finding a melody.  Have a look at those lyrics.  Oh, that's not good enough, and that won't work with the melody.  Edit the lyrics again.  Gently massage the lyrics and the melody until they are able to combine.

Back to the lyrics.  How do I say "I love you and I will miss you" without explicitly saying those words?  We're writing songs here, need to be artistic and just a tiny bit oblique.  Ok, well, the general purpose of the song is as a goodbye present, how about making that the theme?  Enter my interest in etymology.  (If you think that word should contain an "n", well, that really bugs me.)  The word "Goodbye" literally means "God be with you"... over the centuries English has shortened that four word farewell into one seven letter word.  Ok now I have my chorus hook.

Goodbye means God be with you
God be with you as you go
Goodbye is temporary
Just until the next hello

The When

There is more than one When.

The first... well, there was a moving day.  I wanted to have the song finished, recorded, and gifted by moving day.  I finished the song probably a week before the departure, as far as the final first draft.... then spent time messing around with the arrangement or the lyrics, not liking the edits, revising back to the original idea, pruning here and there again... yeah, it's a process.  By no means am I an engineer, but I recorded the song at home the way I do all of my demos... I even threw on some vocal harmonies.  I bounced it to mp3, and emailed it to my friends on the day they left.  Mission accomplished.

The other When.

I was putting songs together to take to Patrick Himes at Reel Love Recording Company in February 2019, in preparation for tracking on my second solo album.  "Goodbye", well, I didn't hate it.  It kept growing on me.  I thought it had potential given the right instrumentation and production.  I brought it with me, along with a bunch of other songs on pre-production day.  It survived the initial cut down... and as tracking started on a few songs and an album began to take shape, I ended up thinking that this one absolutely HAD to be on it.

There were obstacles.  I wrote this song on piano, but I do not have the piano chops to do it justice.  Patrick plays piano - because Patrick plays everything - but he had done that previously on "Convalesce" (from Defacing the Moon), was already playing acoustic guitar and pump organ on this one, and I wanted the chance to work with another talented musician who I admire.  I decided to ask Nathan Peters.  You might know him from such bands as Vinyl Dies,  Lioness, TV Queens, and the legendary Captain Of Industry. Nathan so kindly said yes, and between the chord chart and my very very low quality home recording, was able to figure out what the song needed from the piano part.

Ah, the bass part.  Well, I wrote the song on piano, and was unable to come up with an accompanying bass part that I thought was good enough.  I reached out to Eric Cassidy for ideas.  He had a great idea, and was kind enough to record a video of himself playing the idea slowly enough that I could learn it.  One problem, it involved a quick note change that required holding a chord shape for the change... this type of thing is baby easy for guitarists - and for bass players that are much more talented than me - but I don't often play chords, and when I do, I certainly don't slide around from chord to chord.  Great idea, how to execute cleanly?  It turns out that I couldn't execute it cleanly.  Every time I would play it, I'd either mess up the chord shape on the slide, or make too much fret noise, or not have all of the notes held well enough so that one of them wouldn't sound muddy.  Here's where the studio magic comes in... I played the root note of the chords, then we used overdubs for the harmony notes.  I'm not ashamed to admit it, I'm just not good enough to do it another way, it is what it is.  We got the sound we needed to get.

The vocals.  Take after take after take.  When flat, try again.  When sharp, try again.  My verse harmonies worked out ok.  Patrick had a fantastic idea for an additional harmony in the verse that I hadn't considered... after he sang it for me a few times so I could get it, I went and recorded that as well.  What we have now are really nice harmonies in the verse with three parts, and all of the parts are me.

(I feel I should mention and thank community drummer Brian Hoeflich here, but make clear that there was no obstacle whatsoever as far as his part is concerned.  He did - as per usual - excellent work.)

The Summary

"Goodbye" is track 3 on Anxious Inventions & Fictions.  (If you have the Deluxe Version on CD, it is track 11.)  I am proud of it.  I said what I needed to say, which is the main point of writing songs.  The recording sounds clean, and makes me seem like a much more talented musician than I actually am.  Sure, I didn't actually HAVE to professionally record this song... but I thought the song was good enough to deserve it, and the folks I gifted it to deserve to hear it at its full potential instead of only the horrible version I did at home.

Click here to listen to "Goodbye" on the platform of your choice.

I live in Ohio, which is one of 50 states in The United States.  It has been a long time since a war was fought within the borders of this country or state.  It has been so long that all of the people who fought in that war are long dead.  Now, I've visited plenty of other places where war has come much more recently.  For example, I happened to be in Sri Lanka when celebrations were planned to commemorate ONE YEAR since the end of their lengthy civil war.  I visited El Salvador once, and anyone there who was my age at the time would have had civil war as a back drop to almost half of their life.  I have visited France many times, have many friends there, and the folks who live there experienced devastating war fought in and around their homes, a war in which my own grandfather was a participant. War is a horrible, terrible, destructive, evil thing.  People who live where I live tend to forget that.  As a person who is a voracious reader of history, I haven't forgotten, and I ended up writing a song about it.

Here is a picture of the poem I wrote called "Ton Soldat", told from the point of view of a soldier who is sick and tired of war.

See the date on that?  February 9th, 1998.  I was 20 years old when I wrote that, I still had a brother, I didn't yet have gray hair, and I hadn't been to France yet.

When I was putting together songs for my debut album, Echo in the Crevices, I wrote music for this, and asked some of my dear French friends to have a look at the lyrics to ensure they made sense.  I applied their suggestions, changing out the verb "lutter" for "combattre" and "battre".  There were a few other adjustments made to fit the music and make the song flow better.  This song is now called "Le Soldat".  

When it came time to head to the studio, I knew I wanted a shoegaze feel, a wall of distortion and sound, but also laid back.  The bass was going to do most of the movement.  I remember asking Tod Weidner, who was kind enough to play guitar on this song, if he could play the guitar part whilst making sure the attack sound of the pick hitting the strings wasn't heard.  He did a great job with that. He also brought some ingenuity to the bridge, building the chords that I specified piece-by-piece, playing one note at a time during multiple takes... when all of the overdubs were done, we ended up with the sound of full chords.  Also, I figured that if you're going to write a song in French, you had better have some accordion in it, and Eric Cassidy helped me out with that.  Our community drummer, Brian Hoeflich, also added a nice touch to the bridge, laying heavily on the snare drum to give a military feel to the music, which was quite appropriate.

This song needed to be on the album, for its theme and its mood.  I didn't figure many people would like it, because, let's be frank, most people where I live do not listen to music that isn't sung in English.  This was the favorite song on the entire album for one reviewer in particular, and that surprised me. 

It is my hope that having this extra context helps you to hear this song in a new way.  Why not check it out on my Bandcamp page, on Spotify, on YouTube, on Amazon, or wherever else you listen to music?

Making an album is a long journey.  The time spent writing and re-writing, then re-writing again at home.  The arranging, which often requires another re-write.  The demos.  The gathering in the studio to discuss and plan.  Session after session after session with a whole bunch of really talented people.  Take after take after take of singing, repeating the process if you're a little sharp or a little flat.  The listening to studio bounces over and over and over and over.  The mixing.  That's my process and my journey at least.  Many musicians probably have it easier.  For me, it's a long journey, and it's hard work, and I wouldn't be able to do it without the help of a great many people.

I'd like to celebrate a little more than a year spent working on Anxious Inventions & Fictions by means of a photo blog entry.   

Let's begin:

This is engineer extraordinaire Patrick Himes adjusting the boom for Eric Cassidy on June 2, 2019.  Eric sang harmonies on "Bright Ideas".  Ultimately, that song didn't make it to Anxious Inventions & Fictions, but it is out right now as a stand-alone single.  Please click here to listen to it.

Here's Eric Cassidy again, this time holding an accordion.  He played this on June 30, 2019, during the outro on "Pauline".  You can hear this song on Defacing the Moon, as the songs from that album were chosen from these sessions.

This is Dustin Booher, with me on June 29,2019.  He is a fellow Xenian, and we have known each other since we were five years old.  He sang on "Sunday (That Pill)", which is on Defacing the Moon.  He also lent outstanding vocals to "Never Let Go", which is the 4th song on Anxious Inventions & Fictions.

There is Dustin in the background... and here is Tim Pritchard on July 27, 2019, playing guitar.  You can hear his fine work on "I Am a Number" and "Promise".

This is Jackie and Brandon, who are half of Westerly Station. I met them in Austin at the CD Baby DIY Musician Conference.  (I wrote about that before.)  Brandon is a fellow Ohioan, and we even grew up in the same county.  It was quite convenient that they came from their Texas home to Ohio when I was in the studio, and they had the time to stop by.  Brandon played mandolin on "Sunday (That Pill)", and it sounds great.  

Hello there, Ken Hall.  Normally, you can find him seated behind a piano, a task he performs in Shrug and Human Cannonball.  I invited him to play a little trombone.  You can hear Ken play for about a second and a half on "Your Anthem", which is the first track on Anxious Inventions & Fictions.

This handsome fella is Kent Montgomery.  He is the lead guitarist from The New Old Fashioned.   He was kind enough to play guitar on "Never Let Go", "Won't Love You Anymore", "Run To You", and "Wapakoneta".  That last song didn't make the album, but I will release it at some point.  

Here I am with Nathan Peters, who I've known over 20 years.  You might recognize him as the lead singer and keyboardist from legendary Dayton band Captain of Industry.  These days, he fronts Lioness.  He was kind enough to come to the studio and play piano on "Goodbye".  I wrote the song on piano, but I don't have the chops to give it the recorded performance that it deserves.  Thanks to Nathan's work, it sounds so very good.

The most recent photo.  January 23, 2020.  As you can see from the wood floors and the walls, this photo was taken after the great Reel Love flood and subsequent remodel.  (Scroll up to the first picture for the old school look of the main room in the studio.)  This was my last day in the studio for work on the album.  There was a mixing session after this, so the official end date was in February, but I didn't need to head down for that.  Patrick's steady hand guided me through this process, as he has done so many times for so many other musicians.  He has a fantastic ability to hear the song behind my low-quality home demos.  I can tell him what I am trying to accomplish as far as the sound I hear in my head is concerned, and he can figure out how to get me there.  This gentleman is a multi-instrumentalist, great singer, and true professional.  

I hope you have enjoyed this brief photo journey through a year's worth of work.  There are plenty of behind-the-scenes photos that I haven't even seen.  I have 5 disposable cameras that came to the studio with me, and they are filled with photos.  If you are curious as to what might be on them, they are available as one of the rewards on my Kickstarter campaign to crowdfund pressing Anxious Inventions & Fictions to vinyl.  Why not head over to the campaign and help me press some vinyl?